every journey begins with a single step

Well here I am. so many emotions. the last 6 months have been nothing but change, new state, new town, no home and retirement for Larry and new job. in all this I felt my job was to keep some kind of order to our life. The kids are doing well. I am now at the point I can look at myself. I am 41 yrs old with high blood pressure, diabetes and obesity. my grandmother will all the same things died at 44. many things I am putting here are the first time they have openly been admitted even to myself. but the time is now. This is not a journey to a bikini for the beach, or a skinny dress. This is a journey to be alive to see my children grow up. The same kids I  fought many long years to have. I sit here today, nervous, excited, anxious and afraid I can't do it. I have my first Zumba class today and the hardest part is just showing up. I am going to try and keep this blog before and after each class and every day to track my emotions and hold myself accountable. Not sure yet If I will share this. If I do, it will be with a select few for support. went to Dr. yesterday, so I have an accurate weight and should have lab results soon. here are my goals for a healthier me. more energy. be able to hike and play with my girls. I want to be able to hike with a dear friend of mine, not knowing how long she will be able to continue on this activity that she loves I want to be able to join in it with her. She has been an inspiration to me in the last year. I want to come off of a good deal of my meds and live a more homeopathic lifestyle. I am by no means the Birkenstock granola type, but I do think there is something to the "natural is better" way of life. I want to be a better Friend and partner to my husband. right now physical goal is to lose 80 pounds and by spring hike Laural falls. lets see if I can finally succeed.